The Power of Threes: Finding Balance in Unsteady Times
Life has a remarkable way of reminding us that both joy and hardship often come not one at a time, but in clusters. Many of us have heard the saying, “things come in threes”—it’s a phrase invoked when setbacks pile up or when patterns seem to emerge from the swirl of daily events. Whether it’s three big life events in a row, or feeling physically, mentally, and emotionally exhausted all at once, we intuitively sense the power of these clusters in shaping our well-being.
But within this familiar rhythm lies an invitation: to seek balance not just in one area, but across all three core aspects of our health—mind, body, and spirit. In times of emotional upheaval, medical recovery, or compounding stress, the importance of this “triad” becomes even more profound.
Why Stress—Emotional and Physical—Matters for Health
The connection between mental and physical stress and their impacts on health is well-established but still too often overlooked. Chronic stress—be it from life events like illness, surgery, work demands, or persistent emotional strain—doesn’t just touch our thoughts and feelings; it can disrupt nearly every system in our body.
Common symptoms of chronic stress include exhaustion, headaches, sleep disturbances, digestive upset, aches and pains, and difficulties with memory and concentration. Over time, unrelenting stress raises the risk for conditions like depression, anxiety, cardiovascular disease, diabetes, and weakened immunity.
Physical stressors such as major surgery or the diagnosis of a serious illness can compound these effects, shaking not just our bodies but our sense of safety, stability, and identity. When life delivers a “trio” of challenges—say, depression, recovery from illness, and grief—the result can be an overwhelming sense of imbalance.
Our mind, body, and spirit are constantly communicating, each influencing the others in ways both obvious and subtle. When one is off-kilter, the others soon follow.
Mind–Body–Spirit: The Holistic Wellness Triad
The idea that human well-being rests on three pillars—mental, physical, and spiritual health—runs through many wisdom traditions as well as modern science. Focusing on just one pillar is like sitting on a stool with one or two legs: it works—until something knocks you sideways.
Mind: Emotional resilience, mental health, and cognitive well-being.
Body: Physical health, nutrition, movement, sleep, and healing.
Spirit: Meaning, connection, purpose, and spiritual practices (which may or may not be religious in nature).
Research increasingly affirms that supporting all three areas together leads to more robust, sustainable health than tending just one at a time. For example:
Stress can worsen pain, slow wound healing, and increase risk of complications after surgery.
Depression and anxiety are common after major illnesses or operations, sometimes slowing recovery.
A sense of meaning or purpose and social connection can buffer the physical toll of chronic disease or trauma.
Physical activity, restful sleep, and nurturing relationships all contribute to clearer thinking and emotional stability.
In times of stress, maintaining—or regaining—balance across all three domains is not just idealistic, but essential.
Messaging That Sticks: The Rule of Threes in Health
Why do “threes” work so well in communication and mindful living? Psychologists have found that people best remember and act on information presented in sets of three. “Mind–body–spirit.” “Stop, drop, and roll.” “Tell them what you’ll tell them, tell them, then tell them what you told them.”
Grouping information this way helps us focus, remember, and prioritize actions, especially during times of overwhelm. For health and self-care, this means:
Choose three small, compassionate actions you can take today—one for your mind, one for your body, one for your spirit.
When life feels off-balance, ask yourself: What’s the ONE thing my mind, my body, or my spirit needs right now?
When sharing with family or a healthcare team, highlight the top three symptoms, goals, or worries you need help with.
This structure isn’t just a rhetorical trick. It’s a way to make meaningful change feel manageable, especially when the world is spinning fast.
When Life Knocks Us Sideways: Facing Mental Health Struggles, Surgery, and Serious Illness
Some of the hardest times in life are those marked by stacked stressors—depression during cancer treatment, anxiety after a major accident, or navigating emotional upheaval in the aftermath of surgery. Each of these experiences affects not only the “target” area (physical or mental health), but ripples across all three pillars.
Mental Health Challenges
Mental health conditions—like depression, anxiety, or trauma—are common and deeply human. They can be triggered or exacerbated by life change, illness, loss, or prolonged stress. Up to one in five adults annually will face a diagnosable mental health challenge, yet stigma still keeps many from reaching out for support or even naming their struggle.
The emotional pain of these conditions is very real and can have direct consequences for immune function, heart health, recovery from injury, and motivation for self-care. In the face of mental health difficulties:
Gentle acceptance is the first step. If you or a loved one feels down or anxious most days, or you’re struggling to function, you deserve support.
There is no weakness in seeking help—in fact, it’s an essential act of self-compassion.
Support systems—friends, family, professionals, and peer-support groups—are key to recovery and long-term well-being.
Healing After Surgery or Serious Illness
While the focus post-surgery is often on physical healing, the emotional journey is just as important. It’s common (and normal) to experience a form of situational depression, anxiety, irritability, or a sense of “post-surgery blues.” For some, especially those with a pre-existing mental health history or repeated traumatic health events, these symptoms can persist and deepen over time.
Factors that can increase emotional distress after surgery or serious illness include:
Sudden loss of independence
Persistent pain or physical limitations
Changes in body image or identity
Uncertainty or fear about the future
Medication side-effects
Isolation from work, friends, or routines
In many cases, people aren’t prepared for these feelings, and may even blame themselves for not “bouncing back” quickly. It is vital to remember that emotional recovery is part of physical healing—not separate from it.
Strategies for Emotional Recovery After Illness or Surgery
Acknowledge Your Emotions: It’s normal to mourn, worry, or feel lost after a big change. Let yourself grieve as needed, without judgment.
Seek Connection and Support: Reach out to others, whether it's friends, family, a mental health professional, or support groups for people with similar experiences.
Set Realistic Goals: Focus on slow, steady progress. Celebrate small wins—even getting out of bed on a tough day is a triumph.
Ask for Help: For persistent sadness, anxiety, or thoughts of self-harm, professional help can make all the difference.
Surviving and thriving after adversity isn’t measured by “going it alone,” but by allowing yourself to receive care and kindness—from others, and from yourself.
Barriers to Reaching Out—and How to Overcome Them
Despite growing awareness, many people still struggle to ask for help when mental, physical, or emotional burdens feel too heavy. The most common barriers include:
Stigma—fears of being judged or appearing weak.
Practical obstacles—like difficulty finding a provider or affording treatment.
Belief that “I should handle this myself.”
Lack of mental health literacy or awareness.
Isolation, especially during illness, bereavement, or in later life.
The good news? Social support and help-seeking are proven to boost resilience, reduce distress, and even lengthen life.
What Helps?
Peer and professional support: Whether from a therapist, support group, or trusted friend, having people to lean on makes a measurable difference in recovery and resilience, especially after trauma or medical crises.
Employer or organizational initiatives: Many workplaces now offer employee assistance programs, peer-support networks, quiet rooms, or mental health days. Take advantage—these are tools for resilience, not signs of failure.
Community resources: Local libraries, faith communities, and advocacy groups can connect you to counselors, support groups, or free/low-cost health services.
Educational campaigns: Reducing stigma through psychoeducation, mental health literacy, and open conversations makes help-seeking more likely and more effective—especially for adolescents and marginalized communities.
First Responders and Secondary Post-Traumatic Stress: The Hidden Toll
No profession is immune to the “rule of threes”—and nowhere is the intersection of stress, trauma, and the need for support more acute than among first responders. Firefighters, police officers, EMTs, nurses, and mental health professionals are routinely exposed to the suffering and trauma of others.
While we rightly hail their courage, it’s equally important to acknowledge the emotional and physiological toll this “cost of caring” exacts.
What Is Secondary Post-Traumatic Stress (Secondary Traumatic Stress)?
Secondary traumatic stress (STS) is the emotional distress that results when an individual hears about the firsthand trauma experiences of others. It is not the same as burnout, and it is not “just stress.” It’s a recognized occupational hazard for those in caregiving roles—including first responders, medical staff, counselors, and social workers.
Common symptoms include:
Intrusive unwanted thoughts or images
Social withdrawal or isolation
Emotional numbness or irritability
Trouble concentrating or making decisions
Loss of motivation
Sleep problems or physical ailments
Avoidance of reminders of traumatic incidents
Increased risk of depression, anxiety, or substance use
Prevalence: Up to 35% of first responders show symptoms of secondary traumatic stress, though actual numbers are likely higher due to under-reporting and stigma.
Hallmarks of STS:
Symptoms may occur even after a single traumatic incident, or accumulate over time with repeated exposures.
The risk is heightened for those with a personal history of trauma, high caseloads, or insufficient recovery time between events.
STS can diminish job performance, damage relationships, and even lead to physical health problems or professional disengagement.
Why "Helpers" Often Miss the Signs
First responders are trained to be resilient and to “carry on” through crisis. This, coupled with a culture of stoicism and fears about job security or being labeled unfit, can make acknowledging distress or seeking help especially challenging.
Yet, as one trauma expert remarked, expecting to care for others in crisis and not be affected is “as unrealistic as expecting to walk through water and not get wet”.
Essential Support for the Second Wave of Trauma
The wellbeing of those who provide care and protection is as vital as that of the people they serve. Support systems must be compassionate, robust, and stigma-free. Evidence-based interventions that help first responders and other helpers include:
Peer support programs: Structured or informal, allowing colleagues to process experiences in a safe, judgment-free way.
Trauma-informed therapy: Cognitive behavioral therapy, EMDR, stress management, or mindfulness-based therapies can be effective for processing both primary and secondary trauma.
Organizational policies: Access to quiet rooms, gym facilities, check-ins with wellness coaches, and confidential counseling lines can make help-seeking accessible and normalized.
Ongoing training: Education on recognizing signs of STS, reducing stigma, and promoting resilience supports a healthy institutional culture.
Social and community supports: Family, friends, trusted clergy, and survivor communities offer vital connection, especially after difficult calls or incidents.
If you are a first responder (or support someone who is), remember: Courage is not just what you show in the field, but in acknowledging vulnerability and seeking the help you deserve.
Building Resilience: Tools for Navigating Setbacks
Resilience isn’t a character trait—it’s a set of skills and tools that can be learned and strengthened over time. Cultivating resilience means we recover more quickly, adapt more effectively, and even find new meaning during adversity. This is crucial after emotional, physical, or professional stressors, including illness, surgery, and trauma.
Some Evidence-Backed Resilience Tools
Facing Your Fears—Gently
Gradual, manageable exposure to what scares us (a core technique in therapy) can build confidence and reduce anxiety over time.Imitating Resilient Role Models
Observing and learning from those who have weathered similar storms can inspire growth. Notice their behaviors, attitudes, and self-care routines.Seeking Social Support
Nurture your support network. Even a few trusted confidantes make a difference. Don’t wait until a crisis to reach out.Cognitive and Emotional Flexibility
Practices like cognitive restructuring (changing unhelpful thinking patterns), mindfulness, and emotion regulation increase our ability to adapt to changing circumstances.Finding Meaning and Purpose
Engage in activities—creative, spiritual, or altruistic—that connect you with something larger. Purpose is a strong antidote to hopelessness or inertia.Fostering Optimism
Practice gratitude, positive self-talk, and realistic affirmations. Optimism doesn’t deny challenges but helps us approach them with a sense of possibility.Self-Care Planning and Practice
Use structured approaches like the “Self-Care Wheel,” which encourages attention to six domains: physical, psychological, emotional, spiritual, personal, and professional self-care.
Making Resilience Doable
Don’t try to overhaul your life in one go. Choose one small, achievable habit in each area you’d like to strengthen. For example:
Mind: Keep a gratitude journal, practice mindful breathing, or read uplifting stories.
Body: Move daily in a way that feels good, prioritize sleep, stay hydrated.
Spirit: Spend time in nature, connect with a faith or spiritual community, or listen to music that lifts you up.
Remember, consistency matters far more than intensity.
Compassion in Communication—For Ourselves and Each Other
Whether you’re a patient navigating illness, a caregiver, a professional helper, or simply someone facing a tough season, how we talk about health and wellness shapes our healing. Compassionate, clear, and inclusive communication matters—across the table, in email, and in every newsletter or conversation.
Best Practices for Writing and Sharing Health Messages
Use empathetic and affirming language; normalize the experience of stress, struggle, and seeking help.
Offer actionable steps, not just advice; “Here are three things you can try” is more empowering than long lists or platitudes.
Share relatable stories and lived experiences; they help others feel less alone, and learning is more memorable through narrative.
Highlight support systems and resources. Include how to access local mental health services or crisis help.
Keep it concise and welcoming; avoid overwhelming or jargon-heavy explanations.
Always prioritize the needs and interests of the audience—what information do they want or need to receive?
Final Thoughts: Honoring Your Health—One Step, One Support, One Day at a Time
When hardships seem to “come in threes,” it’s natural to feel unbalanced, discouraged, or even stuck. But you are not alone, and you are not powerless. Health is never only physical; it’s an ongoing conversation and partnership between mind, body, and spirit.
If you are facing emotional struggles, recovering from illness or surgery, or supporting others in distress, remember:
There’s no shame in needing support. Reaching out is a sign of wisdom, not weakness.
Balance isn’t about perfection; it’s about gentle, ongoing adjustment—one action at a time, one day at a time.
Build your own “triad” of support: nurture your mind, care for your body, and uplift your spirit, knowing each deserves attention and compassion.
Help is available and healing is possible—especially when we lean into our networks, our purpose, and the shared stories that connect us all.
Take care of yourself. And when you can, take care of each other. It’s how we all move toward greater resilience and balance—together.
Support & Resources
If you or someone you care about is struggling with stress, trauma, or the after-effects of illness, please consider:
Reaching out to a primary care provider or mental health professional.
Talking to friends or loved ones; vulnerability can help deepen connections.
Accessing local support groups or peer programs (in-person or online).
National helplines and services (such as crisis text lines or first-responder wellness programs).
Remember: Seeking help is always a strength. You deserve support and healing, in threes and beyond.
This article is intended as informational support. If you are experiencing a crisis or need immediate assistance, contact professional help or a local emergency resource.
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